Tag: courage

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Step 8

Step eight is a test of our newfound humility.  During this step, we seek to achieve freedom from the guilt that we have carried.  To do this, we have to do the work to repair the wreckage of our past lives.  This is not easy; it demands a new kind of honesty about our relationships with other people.  The eighth step starts the process of forgiveness, where we forgive others, are possibly forgiven by others, and finally, forgive ourselves.  By the time we reach this step, we have become ready to understand rather than to be understood.  We can live and let live easier when we know the areas in which we owe amends.  It will make us feel better to clean up our lives by relieving ourselves of the guilt.  By writing our list, we can no longer deny that we caused harm.  We admit that we hurt others and make a list of that includes all of those we have hurt.  We then face this list honestly and openly examine our faults so we can become willing to make amends. 

During the previous steps, we focused primarily on repairing ourselves and our relationship with our Higher Power.  It is during this step that we begin to involve other people in our healing process.  Specifically, this involves identifying who we have harmed, how we have harmed them, and becoming willing to make amends to them.  The eighth step is the beginning of the process that lets us feel equal to others.  Rather than experiencing feelings of shame and guilt, and a neverending feeling of “less than”, we become able to look people in the eye and finally lose the fear that we will be caught and punished for some neglected responsibility. 

It will be important to take our time during this step.  Like many before us, we may feel the urge to jump ahead and make things right.  If we do this in the wrong way, however, we may end up making things worse.  Thus, during this step, we need to come to a complete understanding of the ways in which we have harmed individuals in our past in order to ensure our list is thorough.  Once we have come to this understanding, we can then begin to make our list.  During this time we will sit down, recall all we have learned about harm, and start putting names down of the individuals we have harmed as well as how we have caused them harm.  After our list is complete we have to take the steps to become willing to make amends to each of these individuals.  During this time we will focus on the spiritual principles of honesty, courage, willingness, and compassion.  Today you can take the steps necessary to become willing to make amends to those you have harmed in the past.  By doing so, today you can become that much closer to being free!

(Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash)

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Step 6

During this step, we are encouraged to come to terms with our character defects and take action toward their removal. Specifically, we examine our fourth step inventory and get a good look at the profound effect these defects have on our lives, and through a willingness to change, start to overcome them.  Willingness is the spiritual principle of step six.  How sincerely we work this step will be directly correlated with our desire to change.   

It is important to recognize that becoming entirely ready does not happen instantly.  It is a process that sometimes develops over an entire lifetime.  Being entirely ready involves many things: being aware of our defects, being tired of them, and being confident that the God of our understanding will remove them.  While working this step we will consider our fears related to the step, what removal of our character defects consists of, and what our responsibility is in this process. 

Fears related to this step can come in various forms, but almost everyone will experience some level of fear concerning change.  We have all had our defects that we are about to let go of for a very long time, and stepping into the unknown is terrifying.  What will life be like without these defects?!  By working this step, will we be transformed into dull conformists?  Am I capable of living successfully without these defects?  During this time, we need to remain willing and maintain a sense of hope and trust that the process of recovery works even on our most coveted defects.  

So what is this process, and what is our responsibility throughout it?  Well, the first thing most of us do about our character defects is to decide not to have them.  However, this is quite futile because,  much like our attempts to control our using, we may have some success for a time, but the behavior eventually resurfaces.  So, what we need to do in the sixth step is much like what we need to do in the first two steps.  We need to admit that we have been influenced by an internal force that has brought mostly pain and degradation into our lives.  Then we need to admit that we need help in dealing with that force. 

At this point in the step working process, we are typically aware of our shortcomings.  But, it takes an extraordinary amount of energy to monitor our behavior every second of every day and curb every impulse to act out.  Thus, it can sometimes be a discouraging task.  But, we do not give up.  Instead, we make a commitment to our recovery.  We maintain our newly emerging principles despite our setbacks.  We keep taking steps forward despite the step or two we have taken backward.  Ultimately, we are looking for gradual improvement, not instant perfection.  Today you can make a commitment to your recovery.  Today you can decide to keep moving forward no matter how many setbacks you have experienced.  Today you can commit to a gradual improvement in your life!

(Photo by Mark Duffel on Unsplash)

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Step 5

During step four the work of creating a searching and fearless inventory was the goal.  In Step five, we clean house.  We do this by admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.  Specifically, we are dealing with the contents of our inventory.  During the inventory process we examined our wrongs and behavior patterns, which revealed deeper aspects of our disease.  Much of the time, these revelations are not pleasant; however, acknowledging them and bringing them to the surface makes it possible for us to deal with them constructively.  After we share the shameful aspects of our past, we can be free of them.  In so doing, we can live a life of freedom in general. 

During the fifth step, many of us have and will face many fears.  The fear of being judged, the fear of taking up another person’s time, and fears related to trust.  But, it is essential that we know what our fears are and move forward despite them so that we are able to continue with our recovery.  Thus, courage and a sense of trust in the process of recovery are essential.  If we have both of these things, we will be able to work through our specific fears and handle the admissions that need to be made during this step. 

Admitting to each entity involved in this step is important.  True recovery involves a life where the spiritual meets the everyday and the ordinary meet the extraordinary.  When we admit the exact nature of our wrongs to the God of our understanding, our admissions become more meaningful.  However this admission takes place is fine, as long as we are aware that we are making an admission to our Higher Power.  The admission to ourselves is important as well.  This is important because change will not occur until we admit to our innermost selves the exact nature of our wrongs.  Once this admission is made we are more willing and better able to choose a different way of living.  Finally, admitting to another human being, no matter how uncomfortable, is important.  This is important for many reasons.  First, the therapeutic value of one addict helping another has been proven to be unparalleled within twelve-step programs.  Second, in the past, it may have been hard for us to decipher between what we are responsible for and what others in our lives are responsible for.  Hearing another person’s point of view related to such situations often proves to be helpful in this domain.  Third, by sharing our inventories with another person, we are demonstrating the trust it takes to make healthy relationships thrive.  Ultimately, this helps us in terms of developing honest relationships.  We tell the truth about who we are, then we listen to the response. 

By working step five, we will recognize patterns of behavior that have lead to negative consequences. During this step, we focus on the spiritual principles of trust, courage, self-honesty, and commitment.  We begin to learn to trust ourselves and others.  We develop the courage to acknowledge our character defects, admit to them, and remain committed to overcoming them.  By doing these things in step five, we begin to experience spiritual freedom and overcome the shame and guilt of our past!  Today you can begin your quest for spiritual freedom! 

(Photo by Basil James on Unsplash)

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Courage

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ― Winston S. Churchill

Philippians 1:12-14 Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.

1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.

What an incredible message Paul has in his letter to the Philippians and to us! Even though his hard work, discipline, and faithfulness led him to chains, he was not discouraged. He used his situation as a tool to give others courage. Like Paul, we can choose to be courageous in times of distress. We can also choose to be courageous in times of success and even failure. We are in fact commanded to do so, and in the next breath reminded that the Lord OUR GOD will be with us where ever we go. Life will not always be easy, and no one ever said it would be, but we need to stand firm in our faith, we need to be strong, we need to be courageous. We have the capability to do so. Timothy reminds us that our spirits were not made for the timid, they were made for power, love, and self-discipline. Today You Can be courageous, because regardless of your fate, it is the courage to continue that counts!

(Photo by Michael Spain on Unsplash)

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Overcome!

I’ve had enough! It’s no one’s fault but my own!  My lack of discipline has been shown! 
I don’t feel like that justifies my ignorance, however.  I can’t live like this forever! 
Mistake after mistake, how many dumb decisions can one person make?! 
To that, there is no right answer, mistakes are just a cancer.
  Most are treatable, though; it depends on how far you’re willing to go?! 
Can you push yourself past that limit?  That moment when you think there is no way to win it!?
  I know I can, I have before, even after people had hope for me no more! 
So I’ll get past this as well, even if in pain I must dwell. 
I know afterward, I will reap my reward, of this I am assured! 
I’m going to overcome every lousy decision; this is my mission, and my mission I will stand by.  I will not fail, I’d rather die…
(Overcome! is a poem by Justin Heupel) (Photo by
Gayatri Malhotra)

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Courage, Strength, Hope, Love, and Faith

My courage, my strength, I must go on, I must have faith! 
My love, my fear, both appreciated more with every tear!
  My mercy and intuition help me to evaluate every situation.
  My blood, my sweat, help me to pay off every debt! 
My joy my passion, I will always remember smiling and laughing!
  My life, my strife…  Nothing’s won without a fight!
  My lies my hate, not forgotten, never too late. 
My hope my creed, shown by every deed.
Hard work and dreams, sometimes nothing is as it seems.
  My doubt and questions; answered by hard life lessons. 
Every family member, every friend…  No matter what, I’ll be there for you until the end! No matter how hard or painful, lonely, or cruel…  Don’t give up; there is nothing we can’t do.
 LIVE, always for good, leave no moral left misunderstood!
 LOVE with all your heart; if you don’t give it your all, it’s not even worth the start! 
Life is not easy, no one ever said it was…  So live it for yourself, not for someone else. 
Try to be humble and kind, you never know in life what you will find… 
Do this not for me but for yourself…  To say; I have nothing else!

(Courage, Strength, Hope, Love, and Faith is a poem by Justin Heupel) (Photo by Javier Allegue Barros)