Be Successful by Utilizing Highly Effective Habits you Need to Know! (Habit 4: Think-Win)

Welcome to blog post number four in the series of Be Successful by Utilizing Highly Effective Habits you Need to Know! So far we have discussed the first habit (Be Proactive) , the second habit (Begin With the End in Mind), and the third habit (Put First Things First) introduced by Stephen Covey in his best selling book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Today we will discuss habit four, think win-win!

The next habit Covey introduces us to deals with the concept of thinking win-win.  He explains that optimal interdependent relationships are founded on win-win situations, where each party is satisfied and benefits from the interaction.  Covey goes on to explain that there are six ways in which humans tend to interact:

  1. Win-Win- Both parties’ benefit and are satisfied with the interaction.  Both parties win in this strategy of interaction. 
  2. Win-Lose- Individuals or entities use what they can in order to get what they want. Only one party benefits from the interaction.
  3. Lose-Win- Individuals are quick to give up what they want for the happiness of others.  They are willing to take the loss so that others win in situations. 
  4. Lose-Lose- This is the result when neither party is willing to compromise or give up what they want in an interaction.  In this interaction, both parties lose.
  5. Win- Individuals who utilize this interaction strategy don’t care whether the other party wins or loses.  The only thing that matters is that they get what they want in the interaction.
  6. Win-Win or No Deal- Parties that utilize this interaction strategy agree that if the interaction is not beneficial to both parties, no deal will be made. 

In interdependent relationship building, the best interaction strategy to utilize is the win-win strategy.  Although you may be happy with a win in the win or win-lose situations, the result will negatively impact your relationship with the other individual going forward.  It might be easy just to give up what you want for another person to get what they want.  This sounds nice in the short term, but if you continue to do this, you will likely become resentful, and the relationship will be negatively impacted in the long term.  Lose-lose interactions should be avoided, as well.  Instead, if you feel as though a win-win situation cannot be reached, explain this to the other party and be willing to agree to no deal.

Consideration and courage should be incorporated when integrating win-win interactions into our lives.  These types of interactions typically take both consideration and courage to be utilized correctly.  In the other types of interactions however, consideration, courage, or both are often missing. 

This habit is important to incorporate into our recovery for a variety of reasons.  As you move forward in your recovery, you will need to build strong relationships with people you can count on and trust.  In order to build these types of relationships, you will have to be willing to do the work it takes to ensure that each person is satisfied in your interactions and that they are also benefiting from your interactions.  If you are unable to build these types of relationships, it is my experience that negative relationships can be highly triggering.  Having a good support system is extremely important in recovery and thinking win-win will help you build that support!  Today you can begin to incorporate positive relationships into your life.  Today you can begin to think win-win.  Today you can be successful!

(Photo by Felix Mittermeier)